


wild cherry

by crimsongravedigger



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 18:47:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5344661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimsongravedigger/pseuds/crimsongravedigger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In between curtainless windows, cherry printed shorts and chemistry textbooks, Luhan gives Sehun his heart. And his youth, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	wild cherry

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello everyone, thanks for reading 'wild cherry'. This, whatever it is, is very special for me. I worked really hard and i hope you guys will enjoy it. Also, please don't flag this fanfiction because i might cry. Please, if you liked it, leave a comment. I'm literally begging you because I honestly don't know how to feel about this story.

Luhan thinks it totally sucks being thirteen years old. You're not a child anymore and yet you can't do what cool kids do because you aren't "old enough". You're not old enough to stay outside after seven pm, you're not old enough to hang out at the mall with your friends, you're not old enough to spend your weekends somewhere else other than inside the four walls that is basically your bedroom, you're not old enough to watch certain movies at the cinema and you're not enough to date even the ugliest girl in your school. You can play in your courtyard until dinner time and you can also buy ice cream from the ice cream truck in front of your house, but hey, that's not cool. That's lame and Chanyeol always complains whenever he comes over to play soccer with his team because  _"Luhan, being here all day is boooring!!"_ and Luhan tries to shut him up with yet another glass of orange juice. Chayeol doesn't even like orange juice. Luhan then thinks that maybe this problem is just his own, since he's the only one in his relatively small group of friends who isn't allowed to do anything and see anyone whatsoever. This makes the whole situation even more unfair and Luhan really wishes he was already sixteen, so he could do whatever he wants without asking his mother for permission (and for money too). He'd spend entire Saturday afternoons at the park playing with his muddy ball, sunlight in his eyes and pearls of sweat on his forehead. He'd spend his pocket money on nice clothes and salty snacks that he'd share with his new group of friends (not Chanyeol's. He once bitched about some chocolate cookies Luhan's mother had made and Luhan had felt humiliated. Chanyeol is trash, he had decided there and then.) and he'd drop out of school too, maybe. School is useless anyway, who cares about numbers with symbols and letters and parenthesis and points? Who cares about the capital of Cambodia? Who the hell cares about how many times the sun revolves around the Earth? 

 

Or was it the opposite?

 

Luhan kicks a small rock on the sidewalk. Being thirteen definitely sucks. You're not old enough for some stuff but you're always supposed to study and do your homework, your chores and other boring things he would complain about to Minseok. Minseok's parents are nice, they let him go to sleep at eleven pm and he's allowed to eat dessert before soup. His mother is very pretty too, with her chocolate curly locks and almond eyes, and Luhan has to admit that he's a bit jealous. Minseok's dad is really cool, he's a professional football player and he always gets Luhan autographed pics of various other players. Minseok, well, he's Minseok. He's a friend. They study together after school and sometimes they play video games (Minseok usually watches Luhan play, but shhh) until Luhan's mother calls him to come home.

 

Luhan adjusts his old bag on his shoulder and keeps walking under the rays of a sun that is still a bit cold for his taste, with a snapback that's a bit too big on top of his head and dirty white shoes that he really likes because he can run fast in them. 

 

It's almost five in the afternoon when he reaches his neighborhood, one of the poorest in the whole town, and with a jump he lands on the grass of his small garden. Technically it's not really a garden, but it has a couple of flowers here and there and sometimes Luhan plays with bugs. He throws his backpack somewhere on the porch and walks towards his precious swing, which is actually just made of wood and rope attached to a branch. He decides to study after dinner because some fun before working has never killed anybody, plus his scrawny legs need some rest after walking for miles. The sun hits his short black hair and he squints his eyes with a small smile painted on his lips, feeling the chill wind of spring dance all over his body and through his thin clothes. 

 

Sitting on his swing, Luhan watches the house in front of his own, which is probably twice as big, and still empty. It seems no one wants to buy it because the owners both died in a car accident a long time ago, and since they didn't have any sons or daughters, the house slowly started to fall apart. At least, this is what his mother has told him. Buying that shack wouldn't be a nice deal, mostly because the price is really high and the neighborhood is way too poor for a rich family to live in. It would be…unusual. And quite weird too.

Luhan looks at the windows of the upper floor, with their dusty glass and crusty white paint, and spots a chandelier with a few missing candles and an old fashioned burgundy wall paper. 

Luhan wonders how many spiders live in that house, and the thought of being swallowed into their spiderwebs makes him shiver with disgust. The front door has an old lock, but he bets that with a particularly strong kick it would be easy to break it down. Not that he's into that, no, but kids are naturally curious and well, he's still a kid and he's curious too, and his mind likes to wander trough those walls and on those pavements just because it's fun. Luhan's eyes travel on the dry dark grass that almost looks like a jungle, with bushes and ivy everywhere, and can't help but think that it's a shame people aren't interested in that house. With a little bit of work (well, a lot of work let's say) and a couple of gardeners, it could become the prettiest house ever. It's sad having no neighbors, since the house across his own is empty as well, and it would be cool to have new friends his age (so he could hang out with them just by jumping over the fence and look at the night sky on their rooftop and say goodbye to Chanyeol and his other shitty friends).

 

Luhan swings his tiny legs and even though his white knees are a bit scratched from falling down during the last soccer match, he keeps moving until a tear of blood escapes from a fresh cut. He tries his best to wipe the red away with the edge of his yellow sweater but now the mess is worse because there's a maroon stain on the fabric and his mother won't be happy about it. Luhan brings his knee to his lips and sucks a little, feeling the disgusting taste of iron on his tongue and down his throat. Why can't he be more careful?

 

"Little one, are you alright?" a deep voice asks from not that far away, scaring Luhan so much that he almost falls from his swing. Tilting his head to his left, Luhan sees a tall man with a grey suit and a brown suitcase. His pointy shoes are polished and the watch on his wrist looks like it costs as much as Luhan's whole house, but his little smile is kind of reassuring. Luhan knows he shouldn't talk to strangers, but he thinks he can trust this one. He timidly walks towards him, cherry printed shorts loose on his thin hips and fingers wrapping around the fence.

 

"I hurt my knee, sir" Luhan explains looking down at the small red stripe that goes down to his sock. Suddenly a band-aid appears under his nose and the stranger smiles widely, showing his pearly white teeth that would make a dentist envious. Luhan takes it with a small nod of the head as a sign of gratitude, and receives a small laugh back. 

 

"Be careful next time" the elegant stranger says, ruffling Luhan's pitch black hair playfully before walking away. Luhan keeps his eyes fixed on that colorful band-aid with yellow little stars on it, yellow little stars that make him smile lightly, and when he looks at the man he sees him waving from afar. Luhan waves back and keeps staring at that shadow until it disappears around the corner of a building. It was really kind of him, Luhan thinks, and he really wants to tell his mother that not every stranger is bad but then he'd get scolded for approaching the man, so Luhan decides to just shut up. Returning to his swing, he brings the band-aid to his nose and inhales the smell of aftershave, a smell similar to the aftershave his dad loved so much. It has a really nice scent; minty yet sweet, and maybe a bit fruity too. Luhan can't wait to grow up so he can use the same aftershave; he bets all the ladies would fall for him. He would spray it on his clothes too, because he wants to have that scent constantly up his nostrils until he hates it. 

 

Luhan's mother brings him back to reality, calling him because dinner is ready and since cold rice kind of sucks, Luhan quickly applies the band-aid to his hurt knee and runs inside. 

 

Dinner is alright as always. Nothing fancy, just a table set for two with a bowl of rice and some steamed vegetables as side dish. His mother asks about school and Luhan wishes he could crawl under the table because he's failing basically every class apart from P.E. just because the teacher lets the class play soccer for the whole time. He's a nice man too, now that Luhan thinks about it, and he's probably the sweetest teacher since he always gives Luhan a high five after the lesson ends. The little boy changes quickly topic and starts blabbering about his friends and how summer is about to begin, and he can't help but ask for the permission to join Minseok and his family on their trip to Incheon because spending his summer holidays in his room would only bring him death and depression. Luhan's mother doesn't really listen to him, too busy clearing the table and washing the few things they used. Luhan's fingertips tap nervously on the wooden surface, but deep down he knows his mother would never let him go. Maybe he should pray harder?

 

After receiving no apparent answer, he gets up and leaves the kitchen to lock himself in his room where all his toys are patiently waiting for him. It's no big deal honestly, he simply wonders why he even bothered asking in the first place. He lays on his bed, math homework untouched on his desk and orange sunlight creeping through the white curtains, and his fingers reach for the band-aid the stranger gave him a couple of hours ago. The wound doesn't hurt anymore, but he doesn't want to throw it away. It's very pretty and it has stars on it. Luhan loves stars. Well he loves many things but stars, oh, stars always leave him breathless whenever they appear at night with their bright sparkly light. He'd give anything to touch one.

 

Luhan falls asleep like that, with his thin clothes still wrapped around his tiny body, lips parted and some drool on his chin. He dreams of a tall man with a grey suit and polished shoes, expensive wristwatch and sharp cheekbones. He dreams about chatting with him, that lovely scent of aftershave everywhere, and tons of band-aids surrounding them.

 

That's the last time he sees him.

 

\--  

 

Luhan blows candles on the twentieth of April. He counts them: one, seven, ten, twelve, fifteen. Luhan is fifteen years old when his mother knocks on his door to wake him up because it's late and school won't wait for him. There's no present on the table unlike the past years, but Luhan doesn't even have the time to realize that it's actually his birthday because again, it's late and school won't wait for him. He adjusts his navy blue tie and throws his jacket over his shoulders before sprinting out of the door, pitch black hair sticking out and a piece of apple trapped inside his mouth. Breakfast is for losers anyway.

 

The railway station is so crowded that for a second he almost misses the train. Even though he's being squeezed like an anchovy, he manages to open up his chemistry book to make sure he won't fail his test (again) but oh, he forgot to do his homework (again) and his notes are still at Minseok's house (again) so the possibility of getting a B quickly becomes a mirage. Maybe he should just skip school for today, and it's his birthday too. Summer is near, he's tired, his teachers hate him and Chanyeol stopped talking to him for some kind of reason. For the first time in his life, Luhan wishes he was thirteen once again.

 

Luhan is fifteen when he's sprawled on Minseok's bed on a hot Friday night, sports magazine in his hands and a cup of steamy coffee on the bedside table waiting for him. His friend is laying beside him and Luhan swears he can feel his gaze all over himself. When their eyes finally meet, Minseok is the first one to talk after years spent in silence. 

 

"You haven't changed a bit" he whispers wearing an amused smile, taking the magazine away from Luhan's hands.

 

"It's like you're still thirteen or something, and… I…" Minseok stutters cutely, a faint blush appearing on his chubby cheeks. Luhan furrows his eyebrows but waits for something more, because to be honest he's not understanding much, and it's not even surprising. Words don't come out from Minseok's lips, now fully pressed on Luhan's in a chaste kiss that makes Luhan want to run away. 

 

"I don't want this" Luhan murmurs against the other's lips, watery eyes as big as the moon as he gets ready to leave. Minseok stops inviting him over for sleepovers. 

 

Luhan is fifteen when understands that he is not growing anymore. There isn't even a trace of muscles on his arms, or facial hair, or defined cheekbones, or anything else that comes with puberty. His favorite pair or cherry printed shorts are still loose on his hips, his skin as white as milk, stuffed animals still have a place in his heart (and on his bed) and he still spends his afternoons sitting on his favorite swing. It's like he's stuck.  _I'll be thirteen for the rest of my life_ , he complains to Mr. Antler, a deer with light pink fur and a missing antler that has been his confidant ever since he was very little. Mr. Antler looks at him through his plastic blue eyes, mouth sewed as it always has been, and Luhan thinks that his stuffed animal is right. He can't do anything about it.

 

Luhan is also fifteen when he wakes up on a Saturday morning and decides to play on his swing. As he sits down, his fingers find their way around the consumed yellow rope and his eyes land on the old house and something doesn't look quite right. Something is missing, he's sure of that, but he can't decide what. As he keeps moving his short legs, he searches for the rusty 'for sale' sign that used to be covered by ivy and when he notices there's no sign at all, Luhan realizes that someone had actually bought that house. Someone had the courage to sign the contract and accept to spend thousand of money over that shack. 

 

"So dumb" Luhan mutters to himself, secretly anxious to find out more about his new neighbors. He hopes to find new friends, someone to play soccer with or maybe who owns some video games, those new ones that are way too expensive for this mother's pockets. They look so cool, with all those options and customizable characters. Luhan has a Playstation as old as him, and most of the times the controller doesn't even work. 

 

The house renovation, Luhan unfortunately finds out, starts right the next morning at seven am sharp, when he's still in bed with his palms pressed angrily at his ears because  _fuck,_  those machines are making him crazy and the sun is already so hot that Luhan might turn into a puddle. He shoves his head under the pillow, but it doesn't help much. Music might be useful, but his earphones are buried somewhere in a random drawer and Luhan is way too lazy to get up to look for them. He gets up eventually, but just because his tummy hurts since he skipped dinner last night. A bowl of cherries and a glass of milk isn't really a proper breakfast, but summer cherries are so sweet that Luhan could eat only those for the entire day, plus he learnt at school that fruit is healthy, and that adds bonus points. He plops down on his bed and turns the stereo on, bowl full of delicious red diamonds carefully placed between his legs and glass of milk on the bedside table. 

 

Summer, even though Luhan is now two years older, still sucks pretty much like when he was thirteen. There's nothing to do, and this time he had to say no to Minseok's invitation to join his family on their annual trip to Incheon for a whole different reason (Luhan is surprised by the fact that his friend had the courage to invite him in the first place, even after he rejected him like that) and so he's stuck again between four walls. 

 

Luhan gets so desperate that he starts his homework the week after finishing school, accompanied by the noise of bulldozers and other machines that probably crawled up from hell just to make him deaf. Chemistry starts to sound like history after three hours spent reading the same paragraph over and over, so he decides to take a break and his eyes land on the semi-destroyed house that once used to be part of his childhood. There are a bunch of men wearing neon jackets talking and pointing at random parts of the roof, probably coming up with a plan of action and assigning jobs to each team. There is also someone else who doesn't really… fit in with those workers, someone as tall as a tree, who is wearing a white shirt with rolled up sleeves and classy light grey pants, black belt and polished shoes, sunglasses on top of his black hair and the same expensive wristwatch that Luhan has already seen somewhere. He's chatting and laughing and Luhan can't tear his eyes off him. He seems  _so_  familiar and yet he can't remember why. The only thing he knows is that he's gonna be his new neighbor, and that's enough to make him slightly uncomfortable (in a good way). 

 

Luhan spends his days in June exactly like that, sitting on his desk with randomly opened books and magazines everywhere, bowl of cherries on his lap and gaze fixed on that dreamy man. The fifteen year old boy stares at him with curious eyes, and when he sees him run slender fingers through his slightly long hair, Luhan unconsciously sighs and brings another cherry to his pouty pink lips. 

 

\--

 

It's finally July and the house is pretty much ready; those old bushes are gone and a beautiful garden now lies around the whole building, full of colorful flowers and gravel that make everything look a bit more artistic. There's also a nice wide porch, a porch that's probably bigger than Luhan's one and also newer, but the thing Luhan likes the most is the huge swimming pool that occupies half of the back garden. Its tiles are aquamarine and midnight blue, and Luhan is sure that it would look majestic under the night sky, with the relaxing sound of water as soundtrack and a nice cup of warm milk. Luhan also wonders if that man has any sons or daughters, because he really wants to dip his feet into that swimming pool before fall comes. He had a small inflatable swimming pool when he was a kid, but it was the size of a bucket and pretty ugly too. 

 

"Luhan, why don't you welcome our new neighbors? Here, bring them this cake I made this morning" Luhan's mother tells him one morning, handing him a cherry pie with icing sugar on top. He finds himself knocking on that white door with eyes as big as soccer balls, lips slightly parted and heart in his throat, waiting to greet the man he has been secretly stalking for the past month. He reads the golden tag that spells 'Oh' near the doorbell and that's ironic, because  _oh_  is the only thing he can think of whenever his gaze meets the older. When he finds himself face to face with him, though, even the easiest  _hello_  seems way too hard to say, and his throat magically becomes drier than the desert. The strong scent of aftershave makes his mind completely blank (he was the man who gave him that starry band-aid, Luhan's sure of that). Luhan swallows and tries not to melt at the man's amused chuckle. 

 

"Well hello, little one. Is this for me?" 

 

 _Shit_. Is that pie for him? Yes? No? Luhan isn't sure anymore. He just nods and jumps a little as the man's warm fingers brush against his own when he takes the sweet treat in his hands. 

 

"Thanks, that's very kind of you t-"

 

"Welcome to our neighborhood!!" Luhan empties his lungs and then sprints away, not even bothering to say bye to that man. He runs like a bolt to his room and closes the door behind his back, slowly sliding down until his butt touches the cold floor. 

 

What the hell is happening to him?

 

\-- 

 

Luhan ends up meeting Mr. Handsome every morning. He would come downstairs to collect his mail and the older would be there watering his plants; he would sit on his swing to enjoy the summer sun and the older would be there too, painting the fence or cutting dead flowers. At first they would only politely smile at each other, but as time passes, smiles start to become greetings and greetings start to become multiple words until they both forget their chores to chat about random stuff. 

 

Luhan finds out that Mr. Handsome's name is actually Sehun and he's a chemistry teacher. He's married (both to his job and his wife) and one of his hobbies is swimming. Sehun is also 31, but that's a detail. Luhan tells Sehun that he's fifteen, he hates school and he adores cherries. 

 

"I know," Sehun replies with a tender smile, "you always wear those cherry printed shorts."

 

And Luhan's brain kinda stops working after that. Has Sehun been checking him out? 

 

Luhan ends up meeting Mr. Handsome every night too, but in secret. Luhan would pretend to write something on his journal at his desk, but in reality he would slowly move his curtains to look straight in front of him, where a very naked Mr. Handsome would change his clothes after showering. It's not his fault, alright? That man should buy curtains, first of all. He's just asking to be watched. 

Models on porn magazines that Chaneyol brought at school can't compare against his arms and abs, and back, and legs, and everything that comes along. Luhan is ashamed of that, he's ashamed of looking at a much older naked man, but even though his own cheeks are now purple and the small bulge in his shorts is uncomfortable, he honestly can't find a reason to stop. And he doesn't want to either.

 

\--

 

Things start to get less awkward between them when, towards the end of August, Sehun offers to help Luhan with his chemistry assignments because the younger is this far from flipping his desk and dropping out of school. They get along very well and Luhan's mother is genuinely impressed to find her son studying his room instead of laying on his bed with videogames all over the place. Sehun's wife is a lovely woman but she's never home since her job steals 97% of her time (Luhan thinks it's better like this) so Sehun invites his new student over every single morning and afternoon. They keep each other company because nobody likes loneliness, but it's hard to study with the man you usually see naked every night.

 

"School is very important for your future, Luhan" Sehun would say every now and then, glasses on the tip of his nose and red pen between his fingers to mark all the mistakes on Luhan's paper. Luhan would snort with an annoyed expression, but red marks slowly become lesser and lesser after weeks spent on chemistry textbooks (and nights spent on his bed trying to suppress that strange feeling in his tiny chest everytime his teacher would smile at him). 

 

"You're not concentrating enough, what's wrong?" Sehun asks when they are both sitting in the living room. An hour passed and Luhan's paper is still blank, more or less like his mind at the moment. How can he focus on molecules and stuff when Sehun is so close to him that his warm breath tickles his neck? How can he focus when Sehun places a hand on his knee while he's trying to explain something? 

 

"I'm fine, I swear. I think I'm tired" Luhan lies through his teeth, scrubbing his closed eyelids with his index fingers. Sehun then keeps talking and talking and talking, but it's completely useless. 

 

His hand is still on his knee and Luhan's mind has long stopped functioning.

 

\-- 

 

Luhan, again, blows candles on the twentieth of April. He counts them: one, seven, ten, twelve, fifteen, sixteen. Luhan is now a sixteen year old boy living in a thirteen year old's body. Nothing changed since last year, except maybe for his grades and his friendship with his neighbor Sehun. Highschool isn't hell anymore now, mostly because chemistry suddenly has become his favorite subject and studying is fun if it happens with Mr. Oh. The friendship with him is something special indeed, something more special than the friendship he shares with Chanyeol and his other classmates. Yes, he chats with them and they play soccer together, but at the end of the day they don't really care about each other. Friends are nice, but Sehun…Sehun isn't just a friend. 

 

Luhan is legitimately scared when he finds himself looking at Sehun's naked body through his curtains every single night for a whole year without missing a day. He's scared when sometimes he sees Sehun's hand as it works up and down his length in a quick pace, mouth open and eyebrows furrowed. He's scared when he suddenly finds himself doing the same thing too, and he's even more scared when he realizes this isn't enough anymore.

 

Nothing is barely enough now: watching cartoons on the sofa next to him, sharing meals from the same pair of chopsticks, tutoring sessions, occasional hugs whenever Luhan wants some (aka every fucking time they are together) and all that stuff that Luhan is way to embarrassed to talk about, like that one time he saw Sehun swimming in the pool during a particular hot evening. It was cool at first because the way his muscles flexed was pretty impressive, but when he completely emerged from the water, Luhan swore he felt an early stroke. 

 

Sehun is thirty two years old, he's a professor, he's married and he likes swimming without a bathing suit. 

 

And Luhan doesn't complain about it, not even one bit.

 

\-- 

 

Somehow, and it amazes Luhan as well, a year has passed and now the candles are seventeen. He blows them in his room as he holds Mr. Antler tight and he makes his wish, hoping for him and Sehun to be together forever. That's a quite childish wish, Luhan doesn't deny it, but at least he's being honest. He wants to spend as much time with him as possible, in his arms, while they watch television or listen to some music on the bed. He wants to feel light kisses on his cheeks and Sehun's strong arms wrapped around his waist. He wants to feel his hands on his body too, and he wants to feel every single thing he has to offer. Luhan knows Sehun is sixteen years older than him and it's not like he has forgotten about his wife, but isn't a kid allowed to dream? 

 

It's six in the afternoon when Luhan opens the window to inhale fresh air, but the scene that appears in front of him makes his heart jump out of his throat. Sehun and his wife are fighting (again) about something that Luhan can't really understand (again) and at some point she storms out of the house with watery eyes and car keys in hand (again).  Sehun falls with his back against the bed and covers his face with the palms of his hands, those beautiful hands that were made to hold Luhan and only him. 

 

 _'Are u ok? Did you two fight again?'_  Luhan quickly texts Sehun, sitting cross-legged on his light green carpet. He doesn't expect Sehun to reply two seconds later, and he surely didn't expect a text like that.

 

_'Yeah, I'm alright baby. Wanna go out for a walk or something? It's your birthday and we need to celebrate.'_

 

The younger has to bite his tongue to shut himself up and he hardly fights back the dark pink blush that's slowly painting his cheeks, but he manages to send a quick ' _yes_ ' back in record time. 

 

"Mr. Antler, Sehun remembered my birthday! And he called me baby!" Luhan whispers with a big grin on his face, trying to find his favorite pair of cherry printed shorts and a light jersey jacket. He ties his white converse and shoves his cellphone in his pocket, flying down the stairs like his room was on fire.

Sehun is already waiting for him near the fence, dark shades covering his eyes and a cute smirk on his lips. They walk down the street slowly, occasionally exchanging a couple of words but nothing more. Sehun buys Luhan ice cream ("A little treat for a little prince," he says) and they sit on a bench to watch the sun slowly setting. 

 

"I'm sorry I didn't buy you a proper present, little one" Sehun apologetically murmurs, placing a lock of hair behind Luhan's ear.

 

"You can give me one right now" the younger accidentally lets it slip through his lips, and when he realizes the damage he has done, it's too late. 

 

"What should I give you, then?" Sehun playfully asks, now amused by his little one's embarrassed expression. When Luhan doesn't really answer, Sehun decides to take a step further as he turns the young boy's face towards his own with two fingers, softly wishing a sweet 'happy birthday' before capturing Luhan's lips in a delicate but firm kiss.

 

They leave the park when it's late and the sun is already set, but the moon isn't visible yet. Luhan lets got of Sehun's hand only when they are in front of his house and the sudden cold he feels isn't pleasurable at all. Sehun's wife isn't at home yet because the car is nowhere to be seen and Luhan knows his mother won't be back until nine pm because of work, so he dares a little more. 

 

"Sehun, can I have another birthday present?"

 

"Do you want another kiss?" the older playfully ruffles his dark hair, not really expecting Luhan to shake his head negatively. The younger drags him to the back of his house, which is basically a courtyard filled with gravel and some gardening tools, and with a little bit of struggle and a few suffocated moans he gets his second birthday present. 

 

When his mother comes home and asks why Luhan's knees are red and full of scratches, the birthday boy just tells her that he feel during soccer practice. 

 

\--

 

Things, well, they don't change much after that. Sehun would occasionally spend whole afternoons trying to teach Luhan the things he didn't understand at school, the same old pair of glasses on his nose and the same old red pen that gives Luhan nightmares between his fingers. Sehun would talk for hours, sometimes even draw schemes and recaps about the most important thing to keep in mind, until his fingers unconsciously find their way up Luhan's cherry printed shorts and that basically takes the lesson from the living room to the bedroom, and it's okay if that happens everyday. Both want it.

 

Luhan would always do his homework like a good student, help his mother with housework, play soccer with Chanyeol and spread his creamy white legs for Sehun. He doesn't stop staring at him through his curtains at night, oh no, that remains a bad habit, and it wouldn't be wrong to call it a tradition. At nine pm sharp Luhan would turn the lights off while Sehun would turn his on, a towel around his bony hips and wet hair dripping water on those collarbones that Luhan loves so much. He would then gently start caressing his length and Luhan would mimic his gestures, trying to follow his rhythm with tears blurring his vision from the intense pleasure. They hardly come together, but again, it's okay. Everytime they have sex Luhan comes first anyway, so it's not a surprise. 

 

"Sehun, can we run away? Just the two of us?" Luhan wonders one day, sitting on his lover's lap. Sehun's fingertips lightly caress the soft skin of the younger's forearms and arms, tracing the veins like they were a map and intertwining their fingers like he did a million times.

"Anything you want, little one" he seals his promise with a chaste kiss on his lips, and Luhan can't help but imagine how perfect their life would be together. 

 

A year passes too, and now that the candles are eighteen, Luhan feels lost. What are they? Are they together? Are they friends with benefits? Sehun treats him like a real prince, and Luhan thinks his life wouldn't make sense without him. Their relationship evolved so quickly that panic starts to plant its seeds inside Luhan's mind, making him paranoid and scared day by day. School is almost over and the letter of acceptance of a university far away from his city feels like a slap, and Luhan knows life happens, but…what about Sehun? What the hell crosses his mind?

 

"Sehun…Sehun I love you…" Luhan moans one night, digging his short nails deep into Sehun's back as the older thrusts a little faster and a little rougher than usual. Sehun groans, pushing his baby's legs so his knees touch his pale chest, until he finds his release and fills the condom with a last thrust. Sehun then collapses on the mattress, tired and sweaty, and Luhan wipes away salty tears from his own wet cheeks with the back of his hand. 

 

"I love you too, little one" he replies back after catching his breath, wrapping Luhan's small frame in his arms and kissing his temple sweetly. 

 

"Is this okay? Me being 18 and you being 34?"

 

"Luhan, listen-"

 

"I'm leaving for college, Sehun. Do you even care about this? What about your wife?" Luhan asks bitterly, feeling the familiar sensation of burning tears pooling in the corners of his almond eyes. The silence that reigns in the bedroom is enough to make him dress up with angry, guilty movements. Sehun probably only used him for sex, like all men do. The fact that he didn't even try to stop him, or talk to him, makes Luhan realize how stupid he's been since he was 15. For the first time in his life, Luhan feels used.

 

\-- 

 

Luhan graduates with a good score, but Sehun doesn't attend the ceremony. He leaves a bouquet of red roses on the porch though, and when Luhan spots the same old 'for sale' sign in front of Sehun's house, his heart feels like he can't take it anymore.

 

College starts in a week. Bags and suitcases are already on the sidewalk, the letter is safe and sound inside Luhan's pocket and that's okay, even though his mother isn't there to say goodbye to him; work pays bills and food, and it's not like they won't be able to communicate for months. 

 

Luhan sits on his swing for one last time and moves his short legs, feeling the wind dancing through his hair exactly like it did when he was a little kid. He's gonna miss Mr. Antler, his posters, his journal, the days spent with Minseok and Chanyeol, and he's gonna miss his first love as well. 

 

The bus would be there in a moment, but suddenly a horn catches his attention and Luhan turns his head towards that noise. A man as tall as a tree walks fast and his expensive wristwatch shines under the morning sun as he picks up Luhan's suitcases and places them inside his car.

 

"Hey! What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Luhan shouts on top of his lungs, running towards that idiot that-

 

"Forget college. Please, forget college. Let's run away right now" he begs as his hands cup Luhan's face, gently stroking his cheeks with his thumbs. Sehun's left ring finger is empty.

 

Luhan wants to scream. He wants to push him away, away from his life, away from all the pain he felt, away from that sidewalk, away from his heart. He wants to punch him, to see him cry like he did, but all he can think about is how he felt the first time he saw Sehun, while wearing his favorite cherry printed shorts and how he felt  _complete_. He wants to feel this all over again. And again. And again. And again.

 

"Take me away" Luhan manages to whisper, heart beating furiously in his chest and hands grasping the older's suit.

 

And Sehun does.


End file.
